WASHINGTON, December 18, 2012 — Talk about a Christmas Scrooge: the Doomsday crowd is predicting the end of the world just before Christmas while the rest of us are still shopping. So are you ready? Not for Christmas but for your last day on Earth, this Friday, December 21.
The Mayans supposedly said December 21, 2012 would be it for us, the end of the world when a planet will crash into Earth and poof, after 4 billion years, we are all gone. Of course, the Mayans themselves disappeared around 850 AD and they somehow forgot to predict that big event.
Still one can never be too careful.
In fact there are people already well-prepared for the big event, not to go out with a bang or whimper, but to somehow survive it. They are avoiding Armageddon by heading for the hills or in this case to Bugarach, a teeny-tiny town of 176 people in the French Pyrenees Mountains.
They are camping out, having already snagged whatever housing was left. The good people of Bugarach know a good thing when they see it and are cashing in on the surge of true believers, now squatting in their town. The entrepreneurs are charging:
* Nearly $20 a bottle for water from a local spring
* $2 a gram for an authentic Bugarach rock
* A camp site in a farm field at $424 a night
*Or a 4 bedroom house for $1570 a night, if you can still find a for rent sign.
* The villagers have also concocted End of the World wine and Apocalypse pizza for a price.
They know a good thing when they see it.
Why Bugarach? Supposedly aliens will emerge from the local peak Pic de Bugarach, from a spaceship garage deep within the bowels of the mountain and whisk everyone on site to safety. Others say a magnetic force field protects the town. Others that there is access to an underground Other World that will open up this Friday to allow them to escape.
Bugarach looks charming and the mountain looks beautiful. So should we join the throng for an End of the World party?
Not so fast, say nearly every scientist even paying attention. The world will not end on Friday or any Friday very soon.
Archaeologists have splashed cold water on the whole theory, noting that the inscriptions have been mistranslated and the Mayan calendar predicts the end of a dynasty or era, depending on the interpretation, not the world. Of course, the Mayan dynasty never made it past the 9th Century.
As for a planet crashing into the Earth, we Earthlings scan the heavens continuously, probe its deep recesses and crawl around on Mars with our Rover, and there is no sign that any planet is headed this way, much less some planet named Nibiru. Planets are sort of large and hard to miss, especially ones zeroing in on Earth. In fact if Nibiru were out there, it would be loom huge on the horizon, blocking out a big portion of the sky. Hard to miss.
Stray asteroids and meteors probably will slam into us at some point, but not on Friday. After all a couple have bumped into us before. In fact we got hit about 65 million years ago, wiping out the dinosaurs. But nowadays we also have the ways and means to take one out or deflect it before it causes Armageddon.
But none of this has deterred the Doomsday crowd. They are determined that annihilation is just around the corner. “The Week Magazine” revealed that many Russians are so consumed with the end of the world that Russian officials have demanded that the three big Russian television stations quit playing any further programs about the Mayan calendar’s prediction of the apocalypse. And the minister for emergencies has uttered reassurances to the public that we will all be here on December 22.
Meanwhile in China, Lu Zhenghai is so convinced the end is nigh that he has build an ark, or something close to it, because he believes the world is about to drown in a flood on December 21.
He has spent his life savings to construct the 70 by 50 foot ark that will be powered by three diesel engines so he can float away. He didn’t say if he would be taking any animals with him.
Over in Italy some people are gathering near a statue in Cistemino that for some reason they claim will be spared and so will they if they just huddle close enough.
But did the Mayans actually say the Earth as we know it will end? It looks like they were merely predicting the end of one epoch and the beginning of a new one as their calendar rolled over, much like our car’s odometer. Descendants of Mayans, including Mayan shamans, are preparing rituals to greet the new era but not to say goodbye.
The other day, I overheard a woman in the post office telling her friend all about a Doomsday bus her daughter is driving around West Virginia with supplies and prayers to help people survive after Doomsday. Of course, I thought the whole point of Doomsday was just that, Doom and we wouldn’t need any supplies.
I personally gravitate to the people who have decided if the world is to end on Friday, then party hearty. Some are going so far as to consider buying choice wines to toast our extinction. How about a bottle of 1900 Chateau Margaux for $23,500? Too pricey? There’s a $12,000 bottle of Burgundy La Tache. On a budget? Then how about a 2005 Corton Charlemagne, a silky white wine that runs about $119?
Of course, there is always that bottle of Bugarach spring water for $20 if you are a teetotaler.
And if you wake up on December 22, 2012 with a hangover or feeling sheepish that you are still here and once again you were punked, NASA has prepared a video for you to watch on the day after the day the world ended to explain why you are still here. Enjoy!
To contact Catherine Poe, see above. Her work appears in Ad Lib at the Communities @ WashingtonTimes.com. She can also be heard on Democrats for America’s Future. She is also a contributor to broadcast, print and online media.
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