WASHINGTON, December 10, 2012 — The election is over. Really and truly over. So what’s a poor political junkie to do? Just as withdrawal symptoms are kicking in, here comes Santa Claus with just the antidote — political holiday gifts.
Want to get your loved ones smiling again? Just pick one of the following Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanza gifts and watch them reignite with the holiday spirit. It doesn’t matter if they are Democrats or Republicans, far Right or fringe Left, there is something to tickle everyone’s political fancy from books to bobbleheads.
Everyone will be spending at least one day or evening with relatives and you just know the conversation will turn to politics, which means rehashing the issues of the election. If you’re a Democrat, here’s the book for you, “How to Debate Your Republican Relatives: Quick Retorts to Conservative Talking Points” by Carl E. Widell, Jr. It will give you all the ammunition you need to win those holiday arguments.
If you are Republican, what better way to fire back than with Ann Coulter’s polemic, “Mugged: Racial Demagoguery from the Seventies to Obama.” Now your Republican friends can be just as sharp-tongued as Ms. Coulter.
And if you want to get the kids on the straight and narrow, according to the “wisdom” of Bill O’Reilly and Charles Flowers, here’s a book for anyone 11 years old and older, “The O’Reilly Factor for Kids: A Survival Guide for America’s Families.” It claims to give the unvarnished truth about cheaters, sex, money, smoking, drugs, alcohol, friends, bullies, teachers, divorce, parents, politics (of course), God, and even advertisers so a kid can behave responsibly. A tall order, but O’Reilly insists he is up to it.
For adults who like a little pizazz in their politics, what better way to explore the torrid underbelly of our political life than by diving into the “sex-scapades of the past half-century” with Paul Slansky’s “The Little Quiz Book of Big Political Sex Scandals.” It covers everything from Monkey Business with Gary Hart to Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky to Wide-stance Larry Craig.
2. Mementos of the campaign
You may have thrown that campaign button in the drawer or the yard sign in the trash, but if you did, you’re ignoring an important fact of life: it may have been a future collectible. So don’t toss it, but save it for future generations.
Who knows: you may be able to send your descendants to college one day after they sell it. Only make sure you are saving the political mementos of the big races and not those of your county commissioners unless you think they will one day run for President. You can order your future Antique Roadshow prizes online:
Political masks that include Obama, Romney, Democratic donkey, and Republican elephant. Sorry, there is no mascot for you Independents.
Cozy up with your favorite beverages in patriotic bottle “kozies”
Political bottle stoppers with an elephant or donkey prancing on top of the stopper
Here’s something to serve holiday cookies on: an Obama commemorative plate
Or want to make a statement while drinking hot chocolate? How about a disappearing civil rights mug?
Let your neighbors know you are a proud American with a patriotic magnetic sign for the garage door: God Bless America
And don’t forget Mitt Romney’s book “No Apology”
And no holiday is complete without blocks for the kids, especially handcrafted presidential building blocks.
What’s neat about T-shirts is that you can wear them as nightshirts, beach cover-ups, workout tops, or to the grocery store, all the while proclaiming your political sentiments on your chest. Here are some of the choices you can find online:
All I want for Christmas is a New President
For the first time I’m embarrassed for my country, Nov 6th 2012
Santa Claus, Yes We Did!
An Obama Biden long sleeved T
Somewhere in China there is a political prisoner making Christmas lights
Happy Winter Solstice
4. Political movies
Thanks to DVDs and live streaming, movies never go out of style and Hollywood has made some political gems over the years. So bundle these as gifts since the days of bundling money is behind us, at least for now. Or give one as a stocking stuffer. You can’t go wrong, no matter whom you voted for:
Advise and Consent (1962)
All the King’s Men (1949)
All the President’s Men (1976)
The American President (1995)
The Best Man (1964)
Bob Roberts (1992)
The Campaign (2012)
The Candidate (1972)
Charlie Wilson’s War (2007)
Dr. Strangelove (1964)
A Face in the Crowd (1957)
The Great Dictator (1940)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
The Parallax View (1974)
Primary Colors (1998)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Shake Hands with the Devil (1959)
Seven Days in May (1964)
Wag the Dog (1997)
The War Room (1993)
5. Political Toys
For the kids, or the kid in your brother or sister, try putting this under the tree or next to the dreidel:
Filiblaster Marshmallow Shooter: Are you a supporter of the GOP, then how about a Republican Marshmallow Shooter? Whatever your political party, one thing is certain, making a political statement was never so much fun or so the makers claim. There is also a Democratic Marshmallow Shooter.
“Just load the chamber with 25 mini marshmallows and in the spirit of gooey bipartisanship you can engage your political adversary,” say the creators.
USAopoly Democrats vs. Republicans Stratego: If those on your gift list are more cerebral, then how about a special edition of the classic battlefield strategy that pits the two rival parties in their ultimate quest for the White House?
From the desk or the dashboard, your friends or relatives can proclaim their allegiance or loathing for the candidates of the past election with a bobblehead doll of either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney. Nothing says political junkie like a bobblehead. Maybe get them three: one for the car, one for work and one for home. They make great conversation pieces wherever they sit. Or argument starters.
So now that your holiday shopping problems are solved and the election is behind us, time to enjoy some peace on Earth and good will to men…and women.
To contact Catherine Poe, see above. Her work appears in Ad Lib at the Communities @ WashingtonTimes.com. She can also be heard on Democrats for America’s Future. She is also a contributor to broadcast, print and online media.
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